After being in horrific, chaotic relationships, I decided in 2012 I will remain single to find myself before entering another relationship; focus on my lifelong goals and all that other liberating stuff. Now granted, I did not intend on practicing celibacy nor did I reject the idea to date.
Come on, I’m human. I’m a sexual being. I get cranky after being without sex for a week. BUT, I refuse to settle into a relationship for its consistency, so I will continue the path of independence with the freedom to explore safely and cautiously (ladies, there is nothing wrong with being single).
Dating has always been fun for me. Now that I have been single for several months, I’ve met really great people; developed connections through networking; I was able to travel without any ill feelings of a counterpart.
Being a single mother, and an educated woman with a decent job and an emerging career, I am very selective of who I want to even be seen in public with, let alone have sex with.
I was inspired by a few women I met recently, and we all discussed our interesting dates. Some of them went well; some of them didn’t.
The downfall of many dates is that people are not upfront with their lives or past I feel like on first dates, people REALLY omit the truth. Not necessarily lie, but refuse to keep it 100. Please keep it 100! On my first dates, you’ll be able to write a book about me.
I have a proposition for you all. Before you go on a date, think about main important things he or she should know before proceeding with a second date. Here are a few things you should disclose and your date should disclose to you:
I think it is extremely important to let the other party know if you’re a parent. Some people do enjoy bundles of joys, while others aren’t too keen on children. Me being a single mother, it is important to disclose that info even before the date, and I would like that information disclosed to me.
If the guy does not like children, I will forgo the situation before it even starts. I’m a package deal, baby!
Okay, so I try not to judge people about their past, but I need to know if you are a felon. I hate to sound like a broken record, but being a mom, I need to know if my possible significant other has spent time in the pen.
Being a felon can be detrimental to the future of both parties. Since America is not too forgiving, it would be difficult to get approved for some loans; it may be difficult to find a career. If he or she is a sex offender, you better drop him like a bad habit.
After college, I was unemployed. I had side jobs here and there (doing research for people; writing college papers, the usual stuff). Since I am not a sexist prick, when I was dating, I knew that it may have been a turnoff to some men. Realistically, people who are self-sufficient are attracted to people who are self-sufficient.
You must date your equal. Now, some guys were a little more lenient on my situation because I am a college graduate and I wasn’t sitting on my ass. Now, I am employed, and I have my own business, so I need to know if you have a job or not. If you don’t I need to know why; I need to know your credentials.
Sorry, but I cannot be a sugar momma or your “independent woman” that pays for everything; that’s not my twist. I don’t want to be on a date, that you initiated, and having to pay the bill because you’re broke. Hell naw!
A lot of people date for varies reasons:
You’re on the rebound.
You want to get laid.
You want to be in a relationship.
You want to get laid.
You want a sugar momma/sugar daddy.
You want a free meal.
You want a friend that shares similar interests.
It all depends! I think both parties need to be up front with want they want out of the date. Currently, I just want to have fun! I’m not looking for anything serious. I let that be known from the date. “Hey, thanks for dinner.
Maybe we can do this again, buddy!” That’s how I roll now! Honesty is the key. People, we are too grown to be leading people on. You may want a relationship, and the person sitting opposite of you is anticipating on putting your panties in his mouth and going balls deep inside you and that’s it. You won’t know unless you’re honest with one another.
Some men who are religious probably wouldn’t want to date me because I’m so vulgar and opinionated. I had two children out of wedlock, and I still have pre-marital sex. Some people are virgins, and are waiting until marriage; a small percentage, but there are people out there.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to date someone who is celibate or a virgin because I’m neither of those. Once again, we should try hard to date our equal! Religious views can also make or break a future date. I’m not too religious, but I do believe there is a God, and I believe in an afterlife. I would be skeptical to date someone who doesn’t feel the same.
Being a liberated woman, I also want a guy who is open-mined and have non-sexist views. I hate guys who do the “whore” test with women. If you have a problem with my past or sexual appetite because I am a woman, keep it pushing, brother.
People may wonder, “Why didn’t she mention to disclose relationship status?” I did not simply because if you are in a relationship, you should not be dating.
So, have fun! Live life! Meet people; make new friends; develop new relationships. Just remember to always be honest and open to before taking that big step!